Hi Everybody,
wow, blog number 73. Getting a bit old as a bloggist! This one is slightly longer that normal I'm afraid. It's just it introduces something called the Losada Ratio, which is basically about daily negativity, and once I start into it, it doesn't seem to make sense to stop half way. I may be wrong, but let's see how it goes.
So the key point towards which this discussion is heading is greater clarity. That's where we started out you may remember in this chapter. The crucial importance of clarity or self-awareness; a much clearer understanding and awareness of something that may sit right out on the margins of our consciousness. Because however prevalent it is, we don't spend much time talking about the negative side of our make-up do we? But Buddhism argues that in order to recognise it, and combat it effectively, we need to be absolutely clear-eyed about just how powerful and damaging an influence in our lives this negativity can be. Indeed it talks about our being involved in combating it on a daily basis, hence the daily-ness of the practice.
Negativity that is is real, it's as real as rocks, it's just made of different stuff.
And just to underline how real that point is, in case you find it hard to believe, I came across something in the research recently that really took my breath away. That something is called the Losada Ratio, named after a psychologist, Marcel Losada, who apparently established the underlying facts. Basically it is the ratio between the negative words or phrases, and thenpositive ones, that occur in the regular communications between individuals or groups of people. What took my breath away was that when researchers wentn into the field and actually looked at the implications of this ratio the results were astounding.
The Losada ratio
One research group for example was allowed into business meetings across a wide range of 60 or so companies. What they did was, on the face of it. quite simple, quite mechanical even. They transcribed everything that was said at a series of business meetings. Everything. They then worked out the ratio of thenegative words and phrases to the positive ones. And the implications were startling even to them, because they found that there was a sharp cut off point. Inthose companies where there was a clear majority of positive comments over negative ones betwen the managers, to get precise about it, about three positive comments to to every negative one, those companies were flourishing. At anything below that ratio, that is less than three positive comments to every negative one, those companies were ailing in various ways. They were floundering. That ratio is now used at a number of management training courses. If that surprises you as much as it surprised me, it doesn't end there.
John Gottman fro example is one of America's leading researchers into marriage, exploring and explaining what it is that leads to a successful marriage or partnership, and what leads to a marriage or partnership breaking up. So important to a lot of people's lives. He can spend whole weekends with couple sobserving how they talk and relate to each other. He has applied the same Losada ratio in studying how partners communicate with each other. And..wait for it...he has come up with almost exactly the same observation. He has found that where there are less than about three positive communications for every negative one, then that relationship is heading for trouble. In fact he argues that you need at least five positive comments to every negative one, to be confident of having a strong and enduring relationship. ( Dear Sarah I love you to bits! )
I said that you might findn this piece of research astounding, and it surely is. But what it illustrates above all I suggest is just how unaware we can be of the negative elements in our behaviour and our conversations, and just how powerful the implications of that mindless negativity can be for our relationships.
Well that's it. There is a summing up paragraph to this story, but I'll tack it onto the next episode. This si long enough for anyone.
Best wishes,
William
PS If you feel you can bounce this blog onto anyone else, or encourage them to have a look at it, please do so. I'll be eternally grateful.
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