Hi Everybody,
I try to make sure that all the episodes stand alone, and I think this one does, but it makes much more sense I think if 59-62 are read together, since they are all dealing with these studies by the sociologists that chime so closely with Buddhist teachings, on the kind of value systems and behaviour that lead most clearly to a profound sense of well-being in our lives. Which we all want don't we? So much. Who wants not-well-being? Nobody!! So this episode is about living in the now.
' When you think about it, all these qualities that the sociologists describe as being fundamental to a stable sens eof well-being, are all closely relate: altruism and compassion, being compassionate to ourselves in the sense of focusing on our strengths rather than beating ourselves up over our weaknesses, and this, trying to grasp the value of the moment.
You might think at first glance that we have Buddhist teachers talking, but they are social scientists and they talk at some length and in great detail, about the importance for all of us learning to live in the now, making the very most of this moment, this piece of work, this moment of relaxtion in a summer garden, this conversation...the person who is standing in front of you now is for this moment, the most important person in your life. Rather than, as is so often the case just passing though this activity we're involved in, sometimes almost oblivious of it, far too busy or too anxious to grasp it or to savour it, because we're on the way to something else. We find ourselves so often wrapped up in anxieties about something that has happened already, which we allow to go on spinning around inside our head, or thinking in anticipation of something that will happen later on, or tomorrow, or the next day.
When you think about it even momentarily, what you choose to notice, what you choose to pay attention to, is what you experience, that is to say, it is your life. Or as Eckhart Tolle has expressed it,
' Do I want the present moment to be my friend or my enemy. The present moment is so inseparable from life, so you are really deciding what kind of relationship you want to have with life. '
It takes us back directly to the lessonthat lies at the heart of a Buddhist practice, that we have the choice. The cause that we make in paying attention to the now of our lives, delivers the effect of an altogether richer life experience.
Try it. I'm an extremely active person, indeed overactive, always in too much of a hurry. But I've made real efforts in the past half dozen or so years to slow down, which is the way I express it to myself, in order to experience whatever I'm doing from moment to moment. It's difficultof course. With our hugely active and restless minds it's not a skill that comes easily. There's so much stuff coming at us from all directions with our adrenaline-fuelled modern lifestyles. And we can feel considerable guilt if we don't go on thinking about that list of uncompleted jobs, or the difficult e-mail we haven't yet responded to, or the up-coming interview, or that errand we promised to run.
But then, lots of things of value are difficult to fold into our lives. Once we are aware of it, we can undoubtedly learn how to get better at it, and the reward is huge, and growing. It is a genuine life skill. In fact it is interesting that in his book Flourish which is devoted precisely to this issue of how we can enrich and deepen our sense of well-being, Martin Seligman writes on what he calls, ' the virtue of slowness.'
' Mental speed comes at a cost. I found myself missing nuances and taking short cuts when I ahould have taken the mental equivalent of a deep breath. I found myself skimming and scanning when I should have been reading every word. I found myself listening poorly to others. I would figure out where they were headed after their first few sentences and then interuppt. And I was anxious for a lot of the time,- speed and anxiety go together. '
I think we can all immediately recognise the essential truth of that. We've all taken those shortcuts, and given only half our attention to what's being siad. And having been there, I'm sure we can all recognise the benefit we would gain from an increased awareness that where we are right now, is a pretty good place to be focused on.'
A bit longer than normal today but I think it goes better as a s ingle piece.
Next time we focus on having meaningful goals.
Hope to see you then.
Best wishes,
William
The Case for Buddhism is available from Amazon and can be donwloaded from Kindle
Monday 29 September 2014
Friday 26 September 2014
my buddhist blog number 61
Hi Everybody,
Really busy today so I'm going to leap straight into it. We're looking at some of the latest ' guidance,' understanding, knowledge, perceptions....call it what you will...that has emerged from really interesting sociological studies over the past couple of decades, about how we can create a consistent sense of well-being in our lives, and how closely, amazingly closely, that understanding chimes with what we learn from Buddhist teachings. so we've looked briefly at altruism and gratitude, and today we look at the importance of focusing on our strengths, rather than being misled by our weakness. The book takes up the story...
' The researchers talk of the immense value of coming to know more clearly what our real strengths are, and being completely honest to ourselves about our weaknesses, which is essential they argue, in developing a far more effective life strategy. far better they say, to focus our energies and our plans around our strengths, rather than being constantly anxious about our weaknesses, or beating ourselves up over them, or worse, trying to paper over them as if they didn't exist!
That rings true doesn't it? We know full well that we often devote so much time and energy,worrying about and somehow trying to compensate for our weaknesses, that it deflects us from what we really want to achieve for ourselves. Whereas we are much better placed in building our lives around what we know we are good at, and where we have a strong base of self-confidence. This immensely practical kind of self-knowledge is one of the things that Buddhism is referring to when it talks about our innate wisdom, or being true to ourselves. It's our honesty with ourselves that enables us to respond more capably and more creatively to the events we encounter in all the various sectors of our life. It can certainly have the most powerful underlying effect on our sense of confidence and self-worth, since we all want to be seen and valued as capable and resourceful people.
Professor Ruut Veenhoven for example, from Erasmus University in Rotterdam, one of the most highly res[ected teachers in this field, talks of the immense value of this kind of utterly practical, down-to-earth self-awareness. He argues that one of the least talked-about secrets of a sense of well-being, is learning to be comfortable with who we really are, and what our qualities are; as he puts it, learning to love the life we have.
It's a view that ties in so closely with what we have just been talking about, in relation to gratitude, and appreciation for what we have, as opposed to spending our energies yearning for what we simply want.
That's it for this episode. Next time around we talk about the crucial importance to our sense of well-being of really trying to live in the now.
Keep reading! Keep smiling!
See you next time.
William
Really busy today so I'm going to leap straight into it. We're looking at some of the latest ' guidance,' understanding, knowledge, perceptions....call it what you will...that has emerged from really interesting sociological studies over the past couple of decades, about how we can create a consistent sense of well-being in our lives, and how closely, amazingly closely, that understanding chimes with what we learn from Buddhist teachings. so we've looked briefly at altruism and gratitude, and today we look at the importance of focusing on our strengths, rather than being misled by our weakness. The book takes up the story...
' The researchers talk of the immense value of coming to know more clearly what our real strengths are, and being completely honest to ourselves about our weaknesses, which is essential they argue, in developing a far more effective life strategy. far better they say, to focus our energies and our plans around our strengths, rather than being constantly anxious about our weaknesses, or beating ourselves up over them, or worse, trying to paper over them as if they didn't exist!
That rings true doesn't it? We know full well that we often devote so much time and energy,worrying about and somehow trying to compensate for our weaknesses, that it deflects us from what we really want to achieve for ourselves. Whereas we are much better placed in building our lives around what we know we are good at, and where we have a strong base of self-confidence. This immensely practical kind of self-knowledge is one of the things that Buddhism is referring to when it talks about our innate wisdom, or being true to ourselves. It's our honesty with ourselves that enables us to respond more capably and more creatively to the events we encounter in all the various sectors of our life. It can certainly have the most powerful underlying effect on our sense of confidence and self-worth, since we all want to be seen and valued as capable and resourceful people.
Professor Ruut Veenhoven for example, from Erasmus University in Rotterdam, one of the most highly res[ected teachers in this field, talks of the immense value of this kind of utterly practical, down-to-earth self-awareness. He argues that one of the least talked-about secrets of a sense of well-being, is learning to be comfortable with who we really are, and what our qualities are; as he puts it, learning to love the life we have.
It's a view that ties in so closely with what we have just been talking about, in relation to gratitude, and appreciation for what we have, as opposed to spending our energies yearning for what we simply want.
That's it for this episode. Next time around we talk about the crucial importance to our sense of well-being of really trying to live in the now.
Keep reading! Keep smiling!
See you next time.
William
Sunday 21 September 2014
my buddhist blog number 60
Hi Everybody,
Walking in the park with Gatsby this morning it was the most beautiful autumnal morning, slightly cool, low sun slanting through the trees, lots of people and dogs and walkers and cyclists making the most of this lovely September. To requote the poem, oh to be in England now that Autumn is here!! We have a lot to be grateful for in our climate. which brings me neatly to todays theme...last time we did altruism. This time we do gratitude!
' Altruism is close to gratitude and there is much discussion in the research findings of the remarkable transforming power of a spirit of gratitude, unlocking as it has been described, a whole basketful of positive and beneficial effects for the giver as well as the receiver, and indeed for anyone who happens to be within earshot. It's clear that building a strong dimension of gratitude in our lives is very good news indeed. Just going out of our way to express our gratitude to someone has been shown to have a positive effect on our sense of well-being for days after the event itself. But it's important, the researchers point out, to recognise that gratitude goes well beyond simply saying thank you to someone for help or support. They talk about it as a much broader, whole-life attitude to the way we take each day; about having for example a keen and lively sense of appreciation for all the ordinary things of life, ( takes me back to my walk this morning!) not taking things for granted, recognising all that we have, as opposed to focusing on on what we don't happen to have. Gratitude if you like as an essential element in the way we everything that happens to us.
And it's in that sense I would argue that it chimes most closely with the Buddhist description of gratitude, as being absolutely fundamental to a positive life state. A sense of gratitude if you like literally drives out negative thoughts. you can't be grateful and negative at the same time. Indeed the social scientists make a great deal of this idea in their work, talking of gratitude being incompatible with negative emotions such as anger and resentfulness. One psychologist describes it very much in that vein, ' gratitude helps people cope with stress and trauma, ' she writes.
So clearly gratitude is a hugely powerful and valuable quality to nurture in our lives, which once again, is a powerful conjunction of views between the scientist and the Buddhist. '
That's it for today. I think it helps to deal with just one quality per episode.
See you next time,
William
PS The Case for Buddhism is available for not a lot from Amazon and for even less from Kindle. I can only express my gratitude for the warmth with which it has been received by readers from all over. Can't thank them enough.
Walking in the park with Gatsby this morning it was the most beautiful autumnal morning, slightly cool, low sun slanting through the trees, lots of people and dogs and walkers and cyclists making the most of this lovely September. To requote the poem, oh to be in England now that Autumn is here!! We have a lot to be grateful for in our climate. which brings me neatly to todays theme...last time we did altruism. This time we do gratitude!
' Altruism is close to gratitude and there is much discussion in the research findings of the remarkable transforming power of a spirit of gratitude, unlocking as it has been described, a whole basketful of positive and beneficial effects for the giver as well as the receiver, and indeed for anyone who happens to be within earshot. It's clear that building a strong dimension of gratitude in our lives is very good news indeed. Just going out of our way to express our gratitude to someone has been shown to have a positive effect on our sense of well-being for days after the event itself. But it's important, the researchers point out, to recognise that gratitude goes well beyond simply saying thank you to someone for help or support. They talk about it as a much broader, whole-life attitude to the way we take each day; about having for example a keen and lively sense of appreciation for all the ordinary things of life, ( takes me back to my walk this morning!) not taking things for granted, recognising all that we have, as opposed to focusing on on what we don't happen to have. Gratitude if you like as an essential element in the way we everything that happens to us.
And it's in that sense I would argue that it chimes most closely with the Buddhist description of gratitude, as being absolutely fundamental to a positive life state. A sense of gratitude if you like literally drives out negative thoughts. you can't be grateful and negative at the same time. Indeed the social scientists make a great deal of this idea in their work, talking of gratitude being incompatible with negative emotions such as anger and resentfulness. One psychologist describes it very much in that vein, ' gratitude helps people cope with stress and trauma, ' she writes.
So clearly gratitude is a hugely powerful and valuable quality to nurture in our lives, which once again, is a powerful conjunction of views between the scientist and the Buddhist. '
That's it for today. I think it helps to deal with just one quality per episode.
See you next time,
William
PS The Case for Buddhism is available for not a lot from Amazon and for even less from Kindle. I can only express my gratitude for the warmth with which it has been received by readers from all over. Can't thank them enough.
Friday 19 September 2014
my buddhist blog number 59
Hi Everybody
I happen to think that this bit we're coming to is a particularly interesting bit of the book. Why do I say that? Well because I spent a long time looking at all kinds of studies in sociology and psychology particularly, as well as one or two other fields, and in many ways that was one of the main triggers for writing the book, when these social scientists set out to describe the kinds of values and behaviour that they have identified as the source of a profound sense of well-being and confidence and stability in people; the sorts of qualities that enable people, and indeed societies, to live and work harmoniously and productively, it is staggering just how closely the things they write and talk about echo and mirror the kinds of values and behaviour that that lie at the very heart of Buddhist teachings. The kind of values and behaviour that that a Buddhist practice indeed seeks to encourage and nurture. The similarities as I've said are remarkable.
So over the next few episodes I will be writing specifically about this clutch of values and behaviours that are so important to us if we're trying to build the nmost satisfying and fulfilling and value-creating life of which we are capable. And we start with the altruism
Altruism
They write about the powerful happiness-effect of a compassionate and altruistic approach to life; developing a fundamentally contributing and giving approach, rather than a taking and consuming one. So many studies show that even quite small altruistic gestures, simply offering a smile for example, or a helping hand, or a word of encouragement on the spur of the moment, they all bring a sense of warmth and connectedness that has been shown to last well beyond the fleeting moment of the event itself. Everybody benefits. When we go further and give freely of our time and energy in concerning ourselves more deeply with the needs and anxieties of others, rather than concentrating, as we so easily tend to do, on our own current problems, it's been shown repeatedly that this level of altruism can change fundamentally the way we feel about our own lives. It delivers a huge boost to our own sense of self-worth and the ultimate value of our lives.
Buddhism of course has always taught that exerting ourselves in this way, focusing outwards, rather than inwards, on other people's needs rather than our own, can lead to the most rapid growth in our own inner strength and resourcefulness. Now, as the sociologists describe it, such an outward-looking, contributing approach to life, triggers a cascade of positive effects.
So even though evolutionary biologists have a really hard time of it, trying to put together a meaningful evolutionary explanation for the operation of altruism among human beings, today's psychologists don't have the slightest doubt about the powerfully enriching, harmonising,value-creating contribution it can make to all ourlives.
And an immensely valuable aspect of altruism is of course giving up our need to criticise, criticising people, things, events, anything that we just don't happen to like, or that is in some way different from our view of the world. Just giving up the need to criticise, to devalue, to run down has an immensely positive and liberating effect. We immediately become more contributing, more valuable members of our family, or office, or our community. Try it! An apparently small change has an immensely powerful life-changing effect. '
Right so thats altruism. In the next few episodes we look at the powerful life-enhancing effects of qualities such as gratitude, or learning to focus on our strengths rather than our weaknesses, or focusing fully on this moment we are in, rather than being tied up in knots over past events or anxious about future ones.
Hope you'e enjoying the read. as I've said several times already, if you can think of anyone who might just be interested in reading bits of The Case for Buddhism it would really make my day if you were to bounce the address on to them. That's the whole point really of doing the blog, to reach a wider audience.
Best wishes,
William
I happen to think that this bit we're coming to is a particularly interesting bit of the book. Why do I say that? Well because I spent a long time looking at all kinds of studies in sociology and psychology particularly, as well as one or two other fields, and in many ways that was one of the main triggers for writing the book, when these social scientists set out to describe the kinds of values and behaviour that they have identified as the source of a profound sense of well-being and confidence and stability in people; the sorts of qualities that enable people, and indeed societies, to live and work harmoniously and productively, it is staggering just how closely the things they write and talk about echo and mirror the kinds of values and behaviour that that lie at the very heart of Buddhist teachings. The kind of values and behaviour that that a Buddhist practice indeed seeks to encourage and nurture. The similarities as I've said are remarkable.
So over the next few episodes I will be writing specifically about this clutch of values and behaviours that are so important to us if we're trying to build the nmost satisfying and fulfilling and value-creating life of which we are capable. And we start with the altruism
Altruism
They write about the powerful happiness-effect of a compassionate and altruistic approach to life; developing a fundamentally contributing and giving approach, rather than a taking and consuming one. So many studies show that even quite small altruistic gestures, simply offering a smile for example, or a helping hand, or a word of encouragement on the spur of the moment, they all bring a sense of warmth and connectedness that has been shown to last well beyond the fleeting moment of the event itself. Everybody benefits. When we go further and give freely of our time and energy in concerning ourselves more deeply with the needs and anxieties of others, rather than concentrating, as we so easily tend to do, on our own current problems, it's been shown repeatedly that this level of altruism can change fundamentally the way we feel about our own lives. It delivers a huge boost to our own sense of self-worth and the ultimate value of our lives.
Buddhism of course has always taught that exerting ourselves in this way, focusing outwards, rather than inwards, on other people's needs rather than our own, can lead to the most rapid growth in our own inner strength and resourcefulness. Now, as the sociologists describe it, such an outward-looking, contributing approach to life, triggers a cascade of positive effects.
So even though evolutionary biologists have a really hard time of it, trying to put together a meaningful evolutionary explanation for the operation of altruism among human beings, today's psychologists don't have the slightest doubt about the powerfully enriching, harmonising,value-creating contribution it can make to all ourlives.
And an immensely valuable aspect of altruism is of course giving up our need to criticise, criticising people, things, events, anything that we just don't happen to like, or that is in some way different from our view of the world. Just giving up the need to criticise, to devalue, to run down has an immensely positive and liberating effect. We immediately become more contributing, more valuable members of our family, or office, or our community. Try it! An apparently small change has an immensely powerful life-changing effect. '
Right so thats altruism. In the next few episodes we look at the powerful life-enhancing effects of qualities such as gratitude, or learning to focus on our strengths rather than our weaknesses, or focusing fully on this moment we are in, rather than being tied up in knots over past events or anxious about future ones.
Hope you'e enjoying the read. as I've said several times already, if you can think of anyone who might just be interested in reading bits of The Case for Buddhism it would really make my day if you were to bounce the address on to them. That's the whole point really of doing the blog, to reach a wider audience.
Best wishes,
William
Tuesday 16 September 2014
my buddhist blog number 58
Hi Everybody,
just back from blue and sun-kissed Antibes. Wonderful time. It's a small, slightly scruffy French town that has the sea at it s feet and the hills and mountains behind, and it's full of character. I've been going there for 30 years. Used to own a house there. Anyway, we had just a wonderful time fishing and snorkling and tennis and windsurfing, and just being together. Sarah loves it too. And we met and chanted with the local Buddhist leaders to renew our relationship with them. And some nice things were said about The Case for Buddhism!
So where did I leave off last time? I was talking about one of the central themes of the book, namely that when I spent many months looking at relatively recent studies in sociology and psychology, one of the most striking things that emerged was that the issues that the scientists and the sociologists were writing about , not the language or the phraseology that is used of course, but the basic issues themselves, would be very familiar to anyone who regularly atends Buddhist discussion meetings or seminars, since these are the very issues that are discussed at such meetings. Buddhist teachings that is, and these sociological studies are walking across the same ground, our daily lives, and expressing very similar ideas about how we might enhance them.
A second observation that is I think equally significant is that many of the papers emphasise a point that is so often made in Buddhist teachings, that many of us, Buddhists or not, find very hard to grasp or believe in. Namely that we can create for ourselves a profound and stable sense of well-being in our lives, almost regardless of the actual circumstances and events that we happen to be living through. That is, as I've said, something that is very hard for most of us to believe in, and the sociologists clearly understand and accept that enduring difficulty. But nevertheless, as they make clear, study after study reinforces the conclusion that the actual circumstances and events in our lives, however major they might seem, in fact have only a relatively small impact on our overall sense of well-being. It seems clear tha tit is our basic attitude or our approach to those circumstances that has the dominant role to play in our on-going life state. In fact so sure are they of their ground that the scientists are actually prepared to put a figure on it.
And before you exclaim in pure exasperation at such a thought, just hear this passage from the research psychologist we've just quoted from, very highly regarded in her field;
' As significant as our major life events are to each of us, studies suggest that they actually determine a tiny ( sic!) percentage of our happiness...many past investigations reveal that all life circumstances and events put together account for only about 10 percent of how happy different people are...although you may find it hard to believe.'
Indeed! I have to say at once that I am not in any way personally attached to that ten percent figure, and I'm not asking you to become attached to it either. I quote that passage simply to make the point that there clearly are grounds both from long-established Buddhist teachings, and now from objectively managed modern studies, to encourage us to challenge our deeply held assumptions and convictions that our life circumstances play the major role in our sense of well-being or not. They don't.
As another renowned social scientist puts it boldly;
'We are not simply victims of our situation, or indeed of our past. '
We have to work really hard to understand that the idea we continue to hang onto, that our circumstances are the dominant aspects of our lives, is a major delusion or misperception on our part. We are free to rise above our circumstances, as soon as we choose to do so. And the sociologists and the psychologists believe firmly that they now have a much firmer grasp on the values and the behaviours that will most readily enable us to achieve that.'
And that's where we go next, what do the sociologists have to tell us that will really help us to enhance our sense of well-being, and how does that relate to those long-established Buddhist teachings that we are talking about.
So see you then. later in the week.
It was great to be away. It's great to be back!
Best wishes,
William
The Case for Buddhism is available on Amazon and can be downloaded on Kindle.
And if you were to mention this blog to a single friend, I would be totally grateful!
'
just back from blue and sun-kissed Antibes. Wonderful time. It's a small, slightly scruffy French town that has the sea at it s feet and the hills and mountains behind, and it's full of character. I've been going there for 30 years. Used to own a house there. Anyway, we had just a wonderful time fishing and snorkling and tennis and windsurfing, and just being together. Sarah loves it too. And we met and chanted with the local Buddhist leaders to renew our relationship with them. And some nice things were said about The Case for Buddhism!
So where did I leave off last time? I was talking about one of the central themes of the book, namely that when I spent many months looking at relatively recent studies in sociology and psychology, one of the most striking things that emerged was that the issues that the scientists and the sociologists were writing about , not the language or the phraseology that is used of course, but the basic issues themselves, would be very familiar to anyone who regularly atends Buddhist discussion meetings or seminars, since these are the very issues that are discussed at such meetings. Buddhist teachings that is, and these sociological studies are walking across the same ground, our daily lives, and expressing very similar ideas about how we might enhance them.
A second observation that is I think equally significant is that many of the papers emphasise a point that is so often made in Buddhist teachings, that many of us, Buddhists or not, find very hard to grasp or believe in. Namely that we can create for ourselves a profound and stable sense of well-being in our lives, almost regardless of the actual circumstances and events that we happen to be living through. That is, as I've said, something that is very hard for most of us to believe in, and the sociologists clearly understand and accept that enduring difficulty. But nevertheless, as they make clear, study after study reinforces the conclusion that the actual circumstances and events in our lives, however major they might seem, in fact have only a relatively small impact on our overall sense of well-being. It seems clear tha tit is our basic attitude or our approach to those circumstances that has the dominant role to play in our on-going life state. In fact so sure are they of their ground that the scientists are actually prepared to put a figure on it.
And before you exclaim in pure exasperation at such a thought, just hear this passage from the research psychologist we've just quoted from, very highly regarded in her field;
' As significant as our major life events are to each of us, studies suggest that they actually determine a tiny ( sic!) percentage of our happiness...many past investigations reveal that all life circumstances and events put together account for only about 10 percent of how happy different people are...although you may find it hard to believe.'
Indeed! I have to say at once that I am not in any way personally attached to that ten percent figure, and I'm not asking you to become attached to it either. I quote that passage simply to make the point that there clearly are grounds both from long-established Buddhist teachings, and now from objectively managed modern studies, to encourage us to challenge our deeply held assumptions and convictions that our life circumstances play the major role in our sense of well-being or not. They don't.
As another renowned social scientist puts it boldly;
'We are not simply victims of our situation, or indeed of our past. '
We have to work really hard to understand that the idea we continue to hang onto, that our circumstances are the dominant aspects of our lives, is a major delusion or misperception on our part. We are free to rise above our circumstances, as soon as we choose to do so. And the sociologists and the psychologists believe firmly that they now have a much firmer grasp on the values and the behaviours that will most readily enable us to achieve that.'
And that's where we go next, what do the sociologists have to tell us that will really help us to enhance our sense of well-being, and how does that relate to those long-established Buddhist teachings that we are talking about.
So see you then. later in the week.
It was great to be away. It's great to be back!
Best wishes,
William
The Case for Buddhism is available on Amazon and can be downloaded on Kindle.
And if you were to mention this blog to a single friend, I would be totally grateful!
'
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