Hi Everybody,
New day. New chapter in UK's history, article 50 and all that. New Chapter in the book...Buddhism and the Problem Paradox.!! OK here we go.
' Man was born to troubles as the sparks fly upwards, Job tells us eternally in the Old Testament, but few of us if any are prepared to accept that as an accurate description of the reality of our lives. No way. We're simply not having it. No one wants pains or problems, or the anxiety and the tension and the stress that arise as they threaten to emerge in our lives. So the natural human response is to argue that since we can't stand them, we have to get rid of them! And that in fact is pretty much what we try to do. In our modern societies we spend huge amounts of time and money and energy and ingenuity in trying to create a defensive network to keep the challenging and the anxiety-creating side of life at bay. And where we aren't completely successful in the barrier-building business, as we can't be of course, we have evolved a whole series of secondary strategies to fill the gaps.
So we ignore them for example, or run away from them, in the hope that they will just go away or evaporate. The reality is of course that problems ignored have a very nasty habit of becoming problems magnified, so that what was once readily solvable, if only we'd had the courage to face up to it when it first emerged, can become something so big that it can overwhelm us and knock us over.
Or we very commonly dump the problem onto someone else. That is to say we mentally shift the blame or the responsibility onto someone or something outside ourselves, pointing to anything so long as it's not us, as the source of the current difficulty. If there are problems within a relationship for example, it's not our problem, it's clearly because the other half of the relationship has to change something about themselves in order to put things right. If there's trouble with the boss or colleagues at work it's bound to be because they are being totally obstinate or unreasonable or unfair. Everyone can see that. So we end up in a sort of impasse.Nothing changes, and the frustration or the friction keep on recurring, to the extent that it can lead to the break up of an otherwise fine relationship, or people being stuck in a state of tension or dissatisfaction at work.
We have all been there at some stage in our lives, and many times more than once.
So what can we do about it?
Watch this space.
See you next time hopefully,
Best wishes,
William
The Case for Buddhism is available on Amazon in English and Spanish.
And as a download on Kindle.
Wednesday 29 March 2017
Tuesday 21 March 2017
my buddhist blog number 166
Hi Everybody,
Beautiful spring day here in the UK. Blue skies. Warm west wind. Cherry blossom is out. So is the white hawthorne blossom in the hedgerows. Definitely springtime. We're in the middle of this chapter on Buddhism and happiness , and we've reached a sub-heading....who needs problems?
No one comes the answer! None of us wants problems. Not ever. Of course we know in our hearts that problems and difficulties and challenges and crises of one kind or another are part of the fabric of all our lives, and utterly inescapable. In that sense we are all in the same boat, however different our life circumstances might seem on the outside. But for some reason we cling to the belief, the deeply-held desire, that the problems and the pain and suffering they tend to bring with them, are the exception rather than the rule.
The research shows that very different people facing completely different sorts of problems, will use very similar language in explaining it away to themselves. ' This is not really how my life is,' we say to ourselves, ' I just have to get through this difficult phase I'm going through, and then my life will straighten out and I'll get back to normal.'
We know that once we get over this rough patch we are unlucky enough to be going through at the moment, a tough time at work, or a financial crisis, or conflict in a relationship or whatever, then for sure, our life will return to its normal state of calm and equanimity. Because that's the life state we desire, a life state without problems!
The net result of that view of life is that happiness or well-being comes to be defined as the absence of problems. But of course, there is no such place. None of us knows anyone, not a single person, who lives such a life. The reality is that problems and challenges and difficulties just keep on coming pretty much all the time, in one area of our life or another. And given this view of life, it is little wonder that we have developed a whole series of ruses or strategies to try to deflect the problems and the suffering we associate with them.
And that's where we go next, to look at what Buddhism has to tell us about living with the problems of life and how it is eminently possible for all of us to do that, without losing inner core of hope and optimism and well-being.
Hope to see you then.
Thanks for reading.
Best wishes,
William
The Case for Buddhism is available on Amazon and as a download on Kindle.
Beautiful spring day here in the UK. Blue skies. Warm west wind. Cherry blossom is out. So is the white hawthorne blossom in the hedgerows. Definitely springtime. We're in the middle of this chapter on Buddhism and happiness , and we've reached a sub-heading....who needs problems?
No one comes the answer! None of us wants problems. Not ever. Of course we know in our hearts that problems and difficulties and challenges and crises of one kind or another are part of the fabric of all our lives, and utterly inescapable. In that sense we are all in the same boat, however different our life circumstances might seem on the outside. But for some reason we cling to the belief, the deeply-held desire, that the problems and the pain and suffering they tend to bring with them, are the exception rather than the rule.
The research shows that very different people facing completely different sorts of problems, will use very similar language in explaining it away to themselves. ' This is not really how my life is,' we say to ourselves, ' I just have to get through this difficult phase I'm going through, and then my life will straighten out and I'll get back to normal.'
We know that once we get over this rough patch we are unlucky enough to be going through at the moment, a tough time at work, or a financial crisis, or conflict in a relationship or whatever, then for sure, our life will return to its normal state of calm and equanimity. Because that's the life state we desire, a life state without problems!
The net result of that view of life is that happiness or well-being comes to be defined as the absence of problems. But of course, there is no such place. None of us knows anyone, not a single person, who lives such a life. The reality is that problems and challenges and difficulties just keep on coming pretty much all the time, in one area of our life or another. And given this view of life, it is little wonder that we have developed a whole series of ruses or strategies to try to deflect the problems and the suffering we associate with them.
And that's where we go next, to look at what Buddhism has to tell us about living with the problems of life and how it is eminently possible for all of us to do that, without losing inner core of hope and optimism and well-being.
Hope to see you then.
Thanks for reading.
Best wishes,
William
The Case for Buddhism is available on Amazon and as a download on Kindle.
Wednesday 8 March 2017
my Buddhist blog number 165
Hi Everybody,
We're right in the middle of what I think is a really important chapter on Buddhism and Happiness, and we're picking up where we left off last time, answering the question ' can we buy it? ' And that leads us on a to a discussion of a key factor in all our lives that the psychologists call ' hedonic adaptation.' So here goes.
' So whatever external thing we desire in the belief that it will bring us significantly greater happiness, however much we convince ourselves that we need it, however profoundly life-changing it might seem when we desire it, and indeed when we initially acquire it, turns out not to be so life changing after all. Indeed not at all.
There's no question that can be a very difficult lesson for us to take on board. We are so profoundly attached to the idea that these kinds of acquisitions will make us so much happier. But the body of research to the contrary is very substantial indeed. Hedonic adaptation is real!
So what does that mean in terms of our ordinary daily life? Well it's clear that although we may well get immense pleasure and satisfaction, and indeed a burst of genuine rapture at the moment of acquisition, and for a while afterwards, all the research shows that the while is vanishingly brief! The rapid adaptation to the new acquisition, or the new circumstance is an integral part of the human psyche, and from then on we're back to where we were. Square one. The new whatever becomes very much a part of the ordinary fabric of our lives.
And I think there's very little doubt, if we search even briefly through our own experience, few of us would suggest that our fundamental sense of well-being, or happiness in our lives has been substantially altered by any new material acquisition. The new car, the new kitchen, would we really say tha tit has re-shaped our happiness. I think not.
So this hedonic adaptation would seem to be the modern psychological explanation for a factor that Buddhism has been talking about for so long, namely that the external possessions in our lives, or changes in those possession, even if on the surface they are quite substantial, have in fact a remarkably small impact on our enduring sense of well-being. It can be a profoundly unhappy-making delusion to believe that enduring, deep-seated happiness can be acquired in this way, externally as it were, as a result of some possession. any possession.
We only have to give that a moment's reflection to see that it amounts to a prfoundly behaviour-changing, life-changing lesson.'
Plenty enough for one swallow.
Thanks for reading.
See you next week.
William
PS The Case for Buddhism is available on Amazon and as a download on Kindle.
We're right in the middle of what I think is a really important chapter on Buddhism and Happiness, and we're picking up where we left off last time, answering the question ' can we buy it? ' And that leads us on a to a discussion of a key factor in all our lives that the psychologists call ' hedonic adaptation.' So here goes.
' So whatever external thing we desire in the belief that it will bring us significantly greater happiness, however much we convince ourselves that we need it, however profoundly life-changing it might seem when we desire it, and indeed when we initially acquire it, turns out not to be so life changing after all. Indeed not at all.
There's no question that can be a very difficult lesson for us to take on board. We are so profoundly attached to the idea that these kinds of acquisitions will make us so much happier. But the body of research to the contrary is very substantial indeed. Hedonic adaptation is real!
So what does that mean in terms of our ordinary daily life? Well it's clear that although we may well get immense pleasure and satisfaction, and indeed a burst of genuine rapture at the moment of acquisition, and for a while afterwards, all the research shows that the while is vanishingly brief! The rapid adaptation to the new acquisition, or the new circumstance is an integral part of the human psyche, and from then on we're back to where we were. Square one. The new whatever becomes very much a part of the ordinary fabric of our lives.
And I think there's very little doubt, if we search even briefly through our own experience, few of us would suggest that our fundamental sense of well-being, or happiness in our lives has been substantially altered by any new material acquisition. The new car, the new kitchen, would we really say tha tit has re-shaped our happiness. I think not.
So this hedonic adaptation would seem to be the modern psychological explanation for a factor that Buddhism has been talking about for so long, namely that the external possessions in our lives, or changes in those possession, even if on the surface they are quite substantial, have in fact a remarkably small impact on our enduring sense of well-being. It can be a profoundly unhappy-making delusion to believe that enduring, deep-seated happiness can be acquired in this way, externally as it were, as a result of some possession. any possession.
We only have to give that a moment's reflection to see that it amounts to a prfoundly behaviour-changing, life-changing lesson.'
Plenty enough for one swallow.
Thanks for reading.
See you next week.
William
PS The Case for Buddhism is available on Amazon and as a download on Kindle.
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