Hi Everybody,
So in the last episode we looked in some detail at the strategies we all adopt for dealing with the tough stuff in our lives, and asked the question, do they come anywhere close to being the best response that we can come up with? And how does Buddhism help us in this sort of situation? That's where we pick up the thread.
' Buddhism is good at dealing with problems, since it was actually born out of the recognistion that the nature of human life is always tough and challenging, and frequently involves considerable suffering. So that's the starting point if you like that Buddhism asks us to recognise, in setting our levels of expectation. We should expect it to be tough and challenging. So there is absolutely nothing to be gained it argues, from railing at problems as they continue to occur in our lives, which we often do of course. ...' Why is this happening to me? ...or...' What have I done to deserve this?' Or basing our hopes for happiness on some longed-for problem free future. The key Nichiren tells us, in his typically direct style, the key is realy just to get on with things.
' Though wordly troubles may arise, ' he says, ' never let them disturb you. No one can avoid problems...'
No one. Moreover Buddhism constantly reminds us that in our lives, everything begins with us. That may not sound on the face of it to be a particularly ground-breaking idea. But it is remarkable how often this apparently obvious principle is ignored or overlooked. It is our life in every sense. So if there's friction, or frustration, or difficulty coming at us from various directions, then Buddhism argues, the place to look for the root cause is...guess where...within our own life. That may be difficult for us to accept, very difficult. Indeed we may have to go through a huge internal struggle to accept it, but when you think about it even for a minute or two, that is the real meaning of taking responsibility for our lives isn't it?
What is it about our behaviour, our thoughts, our words and actions, that is giving rise to this difficulty? What subliminal signals are we giving off that trigger this response from our environment? How do we need to change in order to resolve this difficult issue? That may initially as I've said be a very hard lesson to swallow. Sometimes we can manage it, sometimes we can't, we're only human after all. But when we can, it carries with it an immeasurably huge benefit that arises in no other way; namely if we fully recognise and accept that the cause comes from within our own life, then so too does the remedy. It lies within our control.
So the problem-solving equation becomes not...'if only my partner would change we could become so much happier...' which is a very tough call because it's way outside our control; but '...what action can I take, what things about myself can I change, that will sweep this problem right out of our lives.' ... which is so much simpler, because we do have control.
Which means that we can imediately set about sweeping away the impase, and opening up the possibility of progress.
Buddhism goes on to tell us that we need to use the daily discipline of the practice to train ourselves; we want to learn to see problems and difficulties simply as facts of life. Nothing more nor nothing less than that. '
And that's where we go next episode. I like this chapter. It's really practical and everyday and down-to-earth. And really useful I hope!
See you next time.
William
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