Hi Everybody,
I try to make sure that all the episodes stand alone, and I think this one does, but it makes much more sense I think if 59-62 are read together, since they are all dealing with these studies by the sociologists that chime so closely with Buddhist teachings, on the kind of value systems and behaviour that lead most clearly to a profound sense of well-being in our lives. Which we all want don't we? So much. Who wants not-well-being? Nobody!! So this episode is about living in the now.
' When you think about it, all these qualities that the sociologists describe as being fundamental to a stable sens eof well-being, are all closely relate: altruism and compassion, being compassionate to ourselves in the sense of focusing on our strengths rather than beating ourselves up over our weaknesses, and this, trying to grasp the value of the moment.
You might think at first glance that we have Buddhist teachers talking, but they are social scientists and they talk at some length and in great detail, about the importance for all of us learning to live in the now, making the very most of this moment, this piece of work, this moment of relaxtion in a summer garden, this conversation...the person who is standing in front of you now is for this moment, the most important person in your life. Rather than, as is so often the case just passing though this activity we're involved in, sometimes almost oblivious of it, far too busy or too anxious to grasp it or to savour it, because we're on the way to something else. We find ourselves so often wrapped up in anxieties about something that has happened already, which we allow to go on spinning around inside our head, or thinking in anticipation of something that will happen later on, or tomorrow, or the next day.
When you think about it even momentarily, what you choose to notice, what you choose to pay attention to, is what you experience, that is to say, it is your life. Or as Eckhart Tolle has expressed it,
' Do I want the present moment to be my friend or my enemy. The present moment is so inseparable from life, so you are really deciding what kind of relationship you want to have with life. '
It takes us back directly to the lessonthat lies at the heart of a Buddhist practice, that we have the choice. The cause that we make in paying attention to the now of our lives, delivers the effect of an altogether richer life experience.
Try it. I'm an extremely active person, indeed overactive, always in too much of a hurry. But I've made real efforts in the past half dozen or so years to slow down, which is the way I express it to myself, in order to experience whatever I'm doing from moment to moment. It's difficultof course. With our hugely active and restless minds it's not a skill that comes easily. There's so much stuff coming at us from all directions with our adrenaline-fuelled modern lifestyles. And we can feel considerable guilt if we don't go on thinking about that list of uncompleted jobs, or the difficult e-mail we haven't yet responded to, or the up-coming interview, or that errand we promised to run.
But then, lots of things of value are difficult to fold into our lives. Once we are aware of it, we can undoubtedly learn how to get better at it, and the reward is huge, and growing. It is a genuine life skill. In fact it is interesting that in his book Flourish which is devoted precisely to this issue of how we can enrich and deepen our sense of well-being, Martin Seligman writes on what he calls, ' the virtue of slowness.'
' Mental speed comes at a cost. I found myself missing nuances and taking short cuts when I ahould have taken the mental equivalent of a deep breath. I found myself skimming and scanning when I should have been reading every word. I found myself listening poorly to others. I would figure out where they were headed after their first few sentences and then interuppt. And I was anxious for a lot of the time,- speed and anxiety go together. '
I think we can all immediately recognise the essential truth of that. We've all taken those shortcuts, and given only half our attention to what's being siad. And having been there, I'm sure we can all recognise the benefit we would gain from an increased awareness that where we are right now, is a pretty good place to be focused on.'
A bit longer than normal today but I think it goes better as a s ingle piece.
Next time we focus on having meaningful goals.
Hope to see you then.
Best wishes,
William
The Case for Buddhism is available from Amazon and can be donwloaded from Kindle
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